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Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Cannon Law

Well, I know that the tree pulpers of America were busy over the weekend while mail delivery was cancelled for Veterans’ Day, because we had twenty-five (25!) catalogs show up in today’s mail. 21 were addressed to Laura, including three (3!) from Victoria’s Secret alone. Two of the four I received were duplicates of ones Laura received. It’s a wonder I didn’t get a hernia dragging the damned things in from the mailbox when I got home.

If you, too, suffer the onslaught of dead trees from dozens of marketers, you might find this page, posted by the evil overlords of the bloodsucking direct marketing industry, helpful. Send them your request on paper so it takes more effort on their part and wastes more of their money and doesn’t cost you anything more than the cost of stamp. Not that it will help all that much. We sent our names in a few years ago, and it kept stuff down for a while, but Laura has bought enough stuff from enough places that all 25 of the catalogs that showed up today are from companies that we’ve actually done business with. <sigh> Any catalogs addressed to me go straight to the recycling bin. Goddamnit, if I want to buy something from you, I’ll go to your ƒµ¢<ing web site. Don’t send me any more ƒµ¢<ing catalogs.

Junkbusters is a good source of information on how to fight the assault of the marketers.

I used to be more tolerant of junk mail. I would just grumble about it. Spam poisoned that well. Now I want to stuff it into a cannon and fire it into a line of direct marketing executives like a well-placed free kick from just outside the box in soccer. Better yet, stuff the executives into the cannon....

Posted at 6:11 PM

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